...You miscarry

A good grief guide and watchlist

Hi friends,

Welcome to SCREEN SOMM, a newsletter filled with recommendations of what to watch, from me, Kristen, a screenwriter. Last week I got you hyped for a long journey. And I even met some new friends along the way. (Welcome new friends!) Next week we’ll bring honor to your bestie. This week a slightly serious theme I hope you’ll never need but I hope is useful if you do. (TW: pregnancy loss, miscarriage.) I post daily recs and more and host Thursday check ins on the Substack site or app.

What to Watch When…

… you miscarry. Or have an abortion. For anyone who needs it.

Last week my baby turned 1! He’s my second child but 3rd pregnancy. When I learned I was going to miscarry my 2nd pregnancy (because the heartbeat of the fetus in my belly had stopped beating a week prior) and opted for medical abortion (the safest option), I went straight home and turned on the TV. There was a relief, from all of the uncertainty, in my ability to sit on my couch, zone everything else out, and watch whatever I wanted.

I want to acknowledge that my experience was my own and miscarriage often looks different for different people. For some it comes without warning or understanding and without the comfort of one’s own home. And I also recognize that, while my miscarriage was also medically an abortion, many people choose to have abortions for many reasons. Those experiences and the support one needs may vary. (You may not need a grief watchlist.) This guide is a mixture of what I watched when I miscarried and other suggestions, designed to be tailored to your taste (and experience). It’s for when you need to take a day or months to feel feels and take it slow until you’re ready to face the onslaught of the world again. What happened to me has happened to a lot of people in some form or another. To someone you know. If it has happened to you, know that the future may not be as you pictured, but it is still worth the watch.

A Watchlist to carry you through 2-10 days of bullshit

Day 0. The moments/days right after you find out or It happens. This was when I was most in need of numbing. I needed to be able to escape into whatever I was watching and to do so right away. For me, reflexively, that means fantasy. But anything immersive and of high quality can do the trick if fantasy isn’t your thing. Nostalgia is personal, but is a primary ingredient for this no good very bad time, so tailor accordingly.

Might I suggest: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, Dune (Zendaya!!), Andor, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Fleabag.

Pill Day. To hype yourself up to insert the pills/feel like a baller once you’ve done this genuinely scary thing. (And I’m sorry if you live in Texas etc and they don’t let you have both mifepristone and misoprostol and you might have to endure this multiple times. What the Hell? Fuck this country.)

Might I suggest: Birds of Prey, Woman King, Alien, Midsommar

Pill Day, 30minutes - 10 hours after insertion. For the hours or more of nausea, bleeding, blood clot passing, and contractions that, on the bright side feel like not your worst pregnancy contraction, and on the bad side feel like your period cramps at their worst… if things go well, that is. You’re gonna need some easy binges, nothing but fun and also something sure to keep your attention. (Also, if you’re like me, you might have to do this on a weekend when your kid is home and still needs you, so these are mostly good for cowatching.)

Might I suggest: Stath Lets Flats, Bad Sisters, Ride or Die, Emily in Paris, Bridgerton, Schmigadoon. Also Spy, Murder Mystery 1& 2. Obvs you can’t binge movies and yes they’re kind of dumb movies but tbh I have never belly laughed and cackled as much as watching these. If something else does that for you, watch that!

Day(s) after. When you’re hopefully able to take it easy. I went on a long walk on the beach with a bestie. But also, watched a lot of stuff. Go for something gentle. Something British, perhaps?

Might I suggest: A Room with a View, Howards End (1992 or 2017), Remains of the Day, Great British Baking Show, UK Celebrity Traitors

Recs by Mood

• Comfort/Fun - When Harry Met Sally, Pride & Prejudice, Survival of the Thickest

  

• Cozy/Escape - The Lord of The Rings Trilogy, Practical Magic, The Witcher

• The strong stuff/Lean in/Emo - Arrival, Children of Men, Portrait of a Lady on Fire, Rosemary’s baby

For those who have been through this or grief or illness/injury of any kind - drop what worked for you in the comments.

Also, I won’t be offended if you just read a book or cook or play board games. Do whatever feels good.

Ice creams to savor, send, or share

• Jeni’s - ships nationwide. You can build your own collection of 5-9 pints. (Unrelated, but cuuute merch line.)

• Salt & Straw - also ships nationwide, but if you live near, go get yourself a shake.

• Nancy’s Fancy gelato delivers via Goldbelly.

• BONUS rec for time’s like these - Kule 1974 shirt - I already owned this shirt but was quite proud to wear it when I picked up my pills. Felt like I joined a really special and exclusive club. God Bless America our Ancestors.

  

  We had moved the day before I found out. What a mess.

Watch Diary

MOVIES • ‘Series’ • Did Not Finish* • Rewatched • Ongoing… •  🍼= first rewatch >20 years

07/13 -ENOLA HOLMES 3 (I’m sorry but I LOVE these movies)

07/16 - WAKE UP DEAD MAN…

07/17 - INTERSTELLAR* (Lord, I tried…When I hit pause 47m in, I was both super annoyed and absolutely wrecked-in-tears by this damn film.)

07/17 - ‘Ride or Die’ Ep 1 - Was not on my radar but is soooo goooood!

07/18 - WAKE UP DEAD MAN…

07/18 - FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL…

Coming Soon!

New releases on my radar

• HER PRIVATE HELL - A bonkers-looking thriller from director of DRIVE

• Ride or Die (Amazon Prime) - Octavia Spender and Hannah Waddingham (of Ted Lasso) are besties in their 50s who must go on the run. Luckily one is an assassin. I plan on binging.

• Five Star Weekend (Peacock)- Jennifer Garner led series about female friendships set on Nantucket. Already released and people are really enjoying.

So, what are you watching?

This week, last week, next week? Let’s discuss! And remember, life’s too short to waste it trying to decide what to watch. If you ever need a rec, I’m your SOMM.

Happy watching, everyone!

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